I believe some people are under the impression that all I do at work all day is sit in front of a PC and play video games. I don’t damn it. I work, and daily I’m getting more and more tasks that are not fully mine such as managing my co-workers when the bosses are out or performing another team’s tasks. Hard work isn’t rewarded often. It just gets you more work.

I don’t like talk about work outside of work. It’s a job and I want to leave it behind me when I leave the office. There are days I really like it if I’m really something new or those couple of thank you’s I get. Most days, it’s just a job, and it’s one of the few things I’m told I’m good at.

Lately I’m really finding it hard to recover from the frustration and monotony of the work given to me. Usually a few smiles and thank you’s get me by and I can face coming home better. It hasn’t been this way in the past couple weeks. I’d love to take my time to get home, but I realize I have a cute responsibility at home. Thing is I can’t do this horrible cycle everyday without some kind of break. I’ll go crazy (again.) A nap somewhere away from it all would do me some good. I miss the days prior to fixing my cholesterol problem where I’d come home and sleep until the next day. Granted I wasn’t no fun on weekday nights, but I still got some comfort.

Home does stress me out. I want to take care of everything, but having to come to compromises with myself and others doesn’t work. I’m suppose to be Superman. I find myself trying to sneak around to get certain things done and God forbid I get caught, don’t do what’s wanted or expected, or if I don’t do it right. Saying it is one thing. Telling me I’m stupid in the process is another.

I do my best to keep my mouth shut about these things, but I can only hold it in for so long. I need an outlet somewhere. I’m finding better one’s that suit my needs each day.

Yes, I have a temper and I’m doing my darnest not to speak up. It’s not as easy as it could be.

Money stresses me out. I’d love it if someone called me back for part-time work. I need something almost mindless to do. More money in the bank too.

I got more. Just now I’m lost. I have more bland computer work to do.

As you may have noticed I stopped the LoudTweeting. Yes, it's annoying. I do sin and break the Twit Commandment by tweeting about really boring things. I'm trying to keep it down to mostly a communication tool instead of insipid, self-affirming micro-blogging. Now I'm reduced to a simple box on the side of my journal to display the latest tweet I made and also a Hab.la applets for people who want to ever chat with me in real time. Still... Twtter. It's my modus operandi for now. Follow me here.

I'm getting back into adding random people to LJ. I want to expand my horizons as it were. This month I found softintr. Whoever this person is they're out in Finland and new to LJ and seems to be tech minded. If you want a hand into finding new people too try using this link. I've also had some luck going through the friend-of-a-friend page.

Tech-wise I've switched to Google Chrome for home use. Yes, I get ads again without an easy-to-install ad-blocker but honestly I don't mind the ads; I can read past them. What's won me over is the insane speed of Chrome. If Firefox manages to catch-up again I'll switch, but I'll be pimping Chrome for awhile.

Screw Semagic. It's a good LJ-specific blogging tool, but I'm gone to Windows Live Writer. It pretty much works with any blogging platform I throw at it; LJ and its clones, Blogger, Blogspot, Wordpress. It's neat.

I'm almost ready to make the jump to Linux. I'm prompted to do this as I found it rather easy to transition from one OS to another now if if locked into one for a day or two. Ooh, the first couple of days with Mac OS X wasn't pretty, but I learned how to get one working in a professional, enterprise environment with full access to network resources. Printers, network shares, VPN, wireless... even got it to login with Active Directory credentials. Granted a lot of things would be better served by an actually Mac Server such as printing and a network Time Capsule of sorts, but I did a lot so far.

Back to Linux... the more recent builds of Fedora Core and OpenSolaris do run my wireless card. Now I'm wondering which flavor to go with. OpenSolaris is the only player that is Unix and not Unix or Linux-like. Fedora Core is up there as a popular distro. Most popular by far is Ubuntu, but I kind of want to stay away from that as I don't think most enterprise Linux solutions use Ubuntu as a base, but please correct me if I'm wrong. BSD does seem interesting just so I can come close to emulating a Mac, but who really uses BSD in an enterprise environment? Other than that... what is stopping me so far it the lack of another hard drive. I don't want to flatten and reinstall, but I don't have the room to make a new partition for Unix/Linux either. That and Chromium so far sucked under Fedora Core.

O, and Leaf. There's no Leaf Network support yet under Unix/Linux. I want to see about starting a private network akin to what I did wit WASTE awhile back. Grab the client at www.leafnetworks.com and let's start swapping music, videos, and whatnot.

Yes, I still ramble. Twitter. twittertwittertwitter.

Yes, I'm on horrible antibiotics and pain killers for... well, it's not a toothache. My teeth are fine but something is wrong with the upper-right part of my gums. I saw something chalk-like fall out of it a couple of days again and since then, pain. The dentist says my teeths are fine though. No fillings fell out, and the post and crown is still in place. The Vicodin helps, but either my body fights to stay away with sweating and whatnot, but it'll knock me the fuck out. The antibiotics rip up my insides.

I was called mature today in comparison to the local fan populace. I don't want to push people away, but if people checked in with the local old guard... I have a reputation. Not a good general one either. It served me well when I wanted the space when I was younger. It's not doing me so well now. I kinda need people outside of blood relatives to visit and grow with. My kids could use a few aunts and uncles in name only.

Me and my wife have been struggling this mounting debt for the past couple years and  come this weekend we're filing jointly for bankruptcy. Problem is that doesn't help with our current situation as we've fallen behind on our electric bill. They're not willing to negotiate a payment plan and demand it be paid in full (to the tune of about $900) lest our power gets cut off tonight. Now, I know it's cliche for fans to ask other fans for financial assistance, but I'm running out of potions here, and I have 7-year-old and a infant at home now and... now what? I don't know what else to do or who else to ask for money from.

Help?

• 02:53 @kteam You did. Twice. #
• 04:12 Vuze supports automagic conversion to iPod? Mmm... not if only Miro did that. #
• 05:58 Dudes. Go to www.ninja2009.com and download the NIN/Jane's Addicition sampler. It's real good. #
• 07:22 Lousy start to the morning. Hungry and I'm already POed at a coworker for flicking the lights on and off like a retard. NO IT'S NOT FUNNY! #
• 07:31 @ColonelTribune I think Starbucks is overpriced swill. @Caribou_Coffee is my poison of choice. #
• 07:34 @Suntimes Yup. Explains how I felt this last weekend. And I had a flu shot too. #
• 08:37 Posting draft of Art Materials FAQs to F101. Needs reformatting. Too tired and numb to work on it competently now. #
• 09:07 @bucktowntiger That fact that people go to cons to get laid is sad. Sadsadsad. #
• 09:24 @bucktowntiger Only if the only time you get to "do it" is at a con, that and you must really, really, really know said friend. #
• 09:41 I think it's time I made a post to the #laff list to gauge everyone's time on the list. #
• 09:44 I have a horrible urge to troll @eddieizzard. #
• 09:53 Dentist apt today. I think I should get picked up around 6:30ish. I need to eat something before I go. #
• 11:21 I'm up to 3 people who've blocked me on Twitter that I know of so far. #
• 11:22 I wonder if they realize that it doesn't prevent me from reading their stuff 'less they decide to protect the whole thing. HIDE YOU COWARDS! #
• 11:23 In fact... I have 3 other Twitter accounts... hmm. #
• 11:31 @tangowildheart I guess so. I have 3 others accounts for the various sites I help out with. #
• 11:32 Is it wrong that I can troll people by simply following them? O wait, I think that's called stalking. #
• 11:35 Then again this reminds me of this hate breeding hate thing. What happened to killing with kindness? I need addresses to send gifts too. #
• 11:38 ...or atleast a card. I have stamps to go through. I had an idea to send those that still hate me now an "open in event of my death" letter. #
• 12:04 Sent email to #laff list to see what kind of a history can be built about the group. #
• 12:07 Updating more printers for the VLAN. #
• 12:28 Got our first artist interview for F101 ready. Who has questions for Jim Groat? #
• 13:14 @Wyldekyttin You can not be associated with me, that's fine. Just a little annoyed that I can't keep tabs on people of interested as easily. #
• 13:17 OK, still waiting for network team to get back to me about last printer to put on VLAN for the day... ho hum. #
• 13:19 @Wyldekyttin The local fans are of interest me, esp. the experienced crowd and those working MFF. That's all. I do run a news site and all. #
• 13:23 @Wyldekyttin On a more personal note, I'm trying to reconnect with old people and make amends after see everyone a few weeks back... #
• 13:23 @Wyldekyttin ...but I'm at a lost as to where to start and what to do. #
• 13:29 It's amazing that reading a few help desk tickets can sap any willingness to want to do any work... that or it's the lack of food. #
• 13:39 RT @Suntimes: Should transsexuals be allowed to use the bathroom of their choice? tr.im/hKy3 #
• 13:53 @cuprohastes :) #
• 13:56 OK, so far with that #laff mail Posi is older than me, but I'm older than Dart and Ken. #
• 14:02 1 hour left then I get to leave to have a hole drilled into my head. #
• 14:16 @Wyldekyttin No, it doesn't, but I'll gladly admit I'm socially backwards and self-destructive. I've found awful ways to cope. #
• 14:23 @Wyldekyttin And actually, thank you for proving me wrong on both count. That only leaves 2 other people to account for. #
• 14:29 Do I still got this flu or is it social anxiety kicking in again? I feel like barfing. #
• 14:31 Is it sad that old methods of provacation get results? Yes it is. Bad Tom. Bad. #
• 14:36 No. Seriously. Bad me. I really need to get back to therapy or religion. #
• 14:39 @mestopho Problem is being ethical and mindful consistently. I got lost in myself. Sorry. #
• 14:41 Another problem with the internet is sincerity and sarcasms don't translate at all. Means being mindful requires more effort. #
• 14:48 @dartdragonwolf No, no. I got one person's reasons and they'll be respected. I wonder about the other 2 I know of. #
• 14:51 @TundraWolf There are some tickets that come in that make it feels like I blew a fuse. It wasn't a dumb ticket, just a "not again" moment. #
• 14:53 Got some snackage. Food is helping. Wonder if I'm diabetic or something. #
• 15:01 Really? It's 64 outside? OK, time to grab me things and head to the dentist. #
• 15:22 Hey. I think my old high school buddy Mike's on this train. #
• 16:02 In Naperville. Mikey's giving me a lift to the dentist. #
• 16:18 @dmuth Quick! Call John Connor! #
• 16:24 OK. At the dentist. Now what do I do for the next hour? #
• 16:41 @ladylei He's doing well, but they're struggling just the same with him being the only source of income currently. #
• 17:43 The dentist had me brush my teeth before my appointment. Isn't that cheating? BTW, I'm done now. Pickup @ladylei? #
• 17:57 @flaintastic What do you mean by inexpensive? Verizon has BOGO on BlackBerries so you could get your money's worth. #
• 17:59 @dragoneer Fuck competion. I'm all for unity, hence that indexing idea I had. I need to find a programmer. #
• 18:02 I don't feel as numb after all this drilling. Now I need a ride home. #
• 18:07 @flaintastic Miller Highlights for Kids. #
• 18:23 Sushi from Dominicks is bad. It's as if were extruded from a Play-doh machine. #
• 18:47 @dragoneer Got a link I can use for the Yiffstar/Sofurry thing? #
• 18:52 The more I think about it I'm surprised I came out of the nuthouse without medication. #
• 20:05 Going grocery shopping. Ho hum. #
• 22:45 @flaintastic I can't go to the Touch willing without the disk level access older iPods have. #
• 22:57 I have an old little entry in my PDA for Christmas gift ideas for various folks. #

• 07:29 Is the phrase "I feel hell warmed over" or something? Tired. Cough-y. #
• 07:40 I'd buy a Kevin Rose action figure. www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/joyarchives/1224.html #
• 07:50 Self-evaluation thing for work... how many words can I use to say that I'm awesome? #
• 09:07 Yellow poop. From what I've read online that might be bad. #
• 11:30 O, and Gamefly offers free MP3s each month. Nice. #
• 11:48 I wish I could run a ShoutCast station from work so you guys can tune into what I'm listening too. #
• 11:52 Maybe I'm going about this wrong and should look to get blocked by more Tweeters. #
• 12:00 It's noon already? OK. I actually brought lunch today. #
• 12:11 I must make it really easy for people to hate me for sooo looong. #
• 12:53 @ladylei @Carl16 Uncle Bruce is on Twitter at @BruceAtLarge. #
• 13:47 @ladylei We should get rid of the DVR and someone get everything online and on the TV. Ponder, ponder. #
• 14:26 Nice thing about a camera on the BB, I can take pictures of what damage the customers are doing to our equipment. Darn printer. #
• 14:30 Huh. Looks through the notes I have in my BlackBerry contacts... I feel evil. #
• 14:32 OOH SHIT! HA HA HA! #
• 15:22 The Nine Inch Nails/Janes Addicition tour is called NIN/JA 2009. NINJA! #
• 15:39 @redcard There are so mainly non-notabily artists on Wikipedia around so that point's kinda moot. #
• 15:40 A coworker gave me a thing of 5-hour energy. I think it lasted for 2 hours. #
• 15:43 I like the new Facebook layout damn it. It's like Twitter on roids. #
• 15:44 Too bad I can't read these comics on my iPod nano. #
• 15:47 @cuprohastes You've never met 'kyttin have you? #
• 15:56 @ZenTigerpaw No. These things do work. I'm just much more ill and tired than previously suspected. #
• 16:02 You guys might hate those Coho bots, but I have the weirdest conversations with these guys. #
• 16:05 Case in point: I'm the BatPope. #
• 16:10 @Dracotrapnet en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TheGreatHatsby #
• 16:17 Wow. That's a pretty evil looking album cover. tinyurl.com/cf4wkj #
• 16:21 RT @Furry101: Broadcasting live now! See me at www.ustream.tv/channel/cuprohastes #
• 16:22 Ozzy Osbourne's on Twitter now. If he ain't on drugs and screaming then I'm not so interested. #
• 16:25 @Carl16 Try drinking? Narcotics? Nipple clamps? High voltage? #
• 17:32 @cuprohastes The kid in the wicker man is a nice touch. #
• 17:32 Here comes the fever. Ugh. #
• 17:49 Last thing I need is that social anxiety kick where everything I can say or do can and/or will be offensive. Maybe I should take up drinking #
• 17:52 @cuprohastes I can't say much about 'kyttin outside of silly and dated memories. Moreover holding grudges just ain't me. #
• 17:54 Hate takes so much energy. #
• 18:06 @ZenTigerpaw I don't hate. That would require effort and possible malice. #
• 18:19 twitpic.com/2e28o - Pretty baby with bow #
• 18:59 @rustitobuck I'm trying to be social though after moving to the burbs and starting a family. #
• 19:41 Can anyone help find out what kind of video card an Alcam XL-692 laptop uses? #
• 19:43 @britin Yours. #
• 19:45 @britin You can actually buy more memory for that laptop. Only 30 bucks for 64 megs. #
• 19:46 @britin I can get your tweets in thwirl, just not on my phone. #
• 19:46 @britin With the extra memory we can go from the original 98 install to XP. #
• 20:49 @kteam Didn't you ask me that once already? #
• 20:56 I need to sneak in @cuprohastes Ustream thing of him drawing the latest Furry 101 Social Tips comic. #

So, I'm getting more people to help me update the information I have in my address book, but maybe I should work it this way. I know atleast by email alone I can find out if an address is valid or not. I figure maybe I should email and post whatever way to these people in my book and I'll work on one person a day. You can see what information I have on you, and you can correct me. I figure most people have a nasty habit of being correct, so if they see something wrong about their info, they'll want to fix it regardless of it's origin. Now, if other 3rd parties want to left me update this information too you're welcome to join the hunt as it where.

Next week I'll make announcements to those interested about which person's info I'll be hunting down that day here, on Twitter/Facebook, and I'll poke a few other people via IM.

I know, it's sounds kind of sneaky this way, but work with me here people.